What was the greatest disappointment of the year and how did you let go?
(Author: Lee Currie)
My greatest disappointment actually came very early in 2012. I suspected it in January (or really, even in Dec 2011)...but that didn't prepare me for the "event" in February. I can't share in detail, but the gist of it is this...I poured my heart & soul into a project, and ignored the need to set boundaries. When the end came abruptly, I felt like a failure...even though my success was evident. I let the event strip my confidence down to the very core...and let's be honest...I didn't start 2012 with an excess of it.
However, the end of this project was only a small part of the disappointment. I'm disappointed that I didn't forgive more easily. I'm disappointed that I held on to the hurt so tightly that it nearly destroyed me. I'm disappointed that I handed my self-worth to someone else (on a silver platter), and then sobbed for weeks when it was handed back to me in pieces. I'm disappointed that I didn't recognize the lessons, and didn't say "thank you" for them soon enough.
It took me a very, very long time to let it go. Too long. The doubts & fears still pop up. I'm working on it. I'm reading - reading so much about forgiveness & meditation & (non-religious) prayer. I'm listening - to friends, to the Universe, to my intuition. I'm saying "thank you" - for the joy, for the chance to work with absolute passion, and for the opportunity to shift...and grow.
Lee Currie is leading this fabulous Reverb12 project - a chance to reflect on 2012 before (or while) setting intentions for 2013.