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August 2012
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October 2012

let's read : being zen

Photo (14)(my solo sunday brunch - after waking up at 10:30am. please, moms of littles, don't hate me)

Being Zen has been sitting in my library book basket for a couple of weeks. I even had to renew it once b/c it was lingering & threatening to move to "overdue" status. It's not that I didn't like it - it's just that I was having a hard time getting into it. Which, in retrospect, is pretty funny given that I could apply that comment to my meditation practice a lot of the time. 

When I picked up the book again today, I thought I'd just read a few pages while I ate brunch. Instead, I found myself scrambling for post it notes to mark the passages that I wanted to remember (the only downside to library books is the inability to highlight!). 

A favorite passage about resistance - 

Resistance comes in many forms: not wanting to sit in meditation, choosing to spin off into our mental world, suppressing or avoiding emotional pain, finding fault with ourselves and our lives. No matter what form it takes, resistance brings no peace. Whatever we resist, we actually strengthen, because we solidify it, empowering it to stay in our life. 

And this, about experiencing emotions - 

It is in these darker moments, when we feel overwhelmed, that we are apt to judge ourselves most harshly. We're likely to solidify the most negative core beliefs about ourselves, seeing ourselves as weak, as losers, as hopeless. It's at this point that we most need a sense of heart, of kindness, of lightness, in the practice. We do this by learning to breathe into the heartspace, thereby undercutting the relentless self-judgement of our deeply held beliefs. 

And finally, this - 

We can come to see - to experience - that we are not broken, that we were never broken, and that we don't need to be fixed. This is the essence of the practice life: continuing to see through the crippling boundaries that we ourselves maintain with our blind belief in the solid reality of our substitute life. 

Powerful stuff. I know that not everyone in my life understands why I practice meditation. I suspect that more than a few think that I've just been drinking the hippie VT water for too long. The work that Ezra Bayda talks about in this book - working with believed thoughts, working through the broken parts - that's why I practice. 

around here : sept 27

Photo (12)
I adore a right now/currently/around here post just as much as the next blogger. So I'll join in the parade that Ali started today: 

Eating roasted garlic hummus like it's going out of style.

Feeling overwhelmed by the journey, but being reminded that no one can be whole & healed every single day.

Needing a yoga class before I come unglued. 

Wearing a lot of polka dots. And eye shadow. The latter makes Angie so proud. 

Anticipating a ridiculous Grey's tonight...but very much looking forward to my Grey's skype session with Barb.

Listening to Mumford & Sons new album. Lover's Eyes amazes me over & over again. 

Burning candles just about every day. The flickering flame calms me. 

Exchanging "what we're wearing" photos/emails with my Ventage girls* every day...quickly becoming one of the highlights of my day. 

*Ventage girls: Barb, Angie, Em, and Stephanie. Love these girls. Ventage is derived from the verb "vent" and the noun "fromage." We vent a lot and we like cheese. We're clever, eh?

doing what works.

My Monday really wasn't working for me. I delayed (aka procrastinated) several tasks that should have been completed over the weekend, and attempted to do them before work. Like at 5 o'clock in the morning. I am not a morning person. The thing is, even as I was setting myself up to fail...I knew that I was setting myself up to fail. I was then in a foul mood when I failed. Clearly, I thought that I'd surprise myself. 

As the day came crashing down mercifully ended, I was STILL thinking about what I'd done (and not done) to create such a grumpy day. What it boils down to is that I did a few things that really just don't work for me. I know what DOES work, so I'm making a list to remind myself: 

1. Early mornings are not my friend. Do not schedule/expect anything other than basic needs to happen before 7am. 

2. Get enough sleep. The days of working until the wee hours are over. 

3. Sometimes "good enough" is enough. Save super special cooking for dinner parties, not potlucks. (that one applies to yesterday)

4. Keep mascara in your bag. 

5. Clean the kitchen before you go to bed. There is nothing more irritating in the morning than a sink full of dishes. 

6. Make your bed. This is a complete 180° from the last couple of decades when I flat out refused to make my bed. Now? It calms me to come home and have a neatly made bed. 

And a few that I'm working on (some might say shifting my thinking applies here. ahem.)

7. Do better next time. Trust that you're not going to be abandoned when you have an off day. (oh, this is SUCH a therapy topic for me) Second (and 3rd & 4th) chances are allowed.

8. Find a new after work ritual. Explanation - a glass of wine has been my nightly habit for longer than my mother approves of. Since I'm watching carbs a bit, that glass of wine needs to be replaced. With the weather turning cooler, I find myself reaching for a nightly cup of coffee. Not a good idea. I need an alternative. I drink hot tea all day - so that's not it. Any ideas? 

9. MEDITATION. Sit. the. f. down.

10. Buy a new notebook, and make lists. Lots and lots of lists. 

PS. the picture above really has nothing to do with this post - I'm just loving the super blue fall sky lately.

project life : the twenties.

I took a hefty swing at Project Life last night - and came away triumphant. :) Pardon the not-so-great photos...

W22fullweek 22 : food, always

W22closeweek 22 wasn't the easiest.

W23fullweek 23 : lots of photos, few words (it's okay)

W23insertweek 23 insert : yoga class schedule

W24w25weeks 24 & 25 : condensed (it's okay)

W25insertweek 25 insert : our race bibs are simply stapled to the back

weeks 26 & 27 are Costa Rica weeks : stay tuned!

W28fullweek 28 : the words return. :)

W28closeweek 28 : Kelly Purkey Geotag

W29fullweek 29 : I really "heart" green & kraft

W29quoteweek 29 : that rub-on? vintage Basic Grey (hoarder)

W30fullweek 30 : things are looking brighter

W30colorrunweek 30 : the color run (I'll probably add an insert with journaling)

Hoping to get through a few more weeks today! 



atta girl.

In a bit of a strange transaction, yesterday I sold my myself. Technically, "we" sold it to me. It's a stressful process, this house buying/refi-ing thing. Weeks upon weeks of handing over financial information in excruciating detail (picture me handing over statements saying "please don't judge my starbucks habit), and inccesant emails to my (awesome) mortgage broker asking for updates. Yesterday, after 27(ish) signatures, I became the sole owner of my house. 

I think that deserves an "atta girl," don't you?

today i : sept 19

Today i
Having a weekday off is a strange thing. I had visions of somehow cramming 294,571 activities into the few morning hours that I had free. Instead, I overslept, got Austin to school on time, came home, drank coffee, talked to Becky, went BACK to school to deliver forgotten homework, showered, ate breakfast, and then dashed off to an afternoon of appts. Not exactly as productive as I'd planned, but...

today i made avocado toast for breakfast & enjoyed every single bite. 

today i had an appt with a completely awesome naturopath. Getting back on track, and totally excited about it. 

today i sat through a pro se workshop & got all nostalgic about wanting to grow up to be a lawyer. 

today i finished Happier at Home. I really wanted to like it more than I did. 

today i was grateful (as I am every day) for the amazing women that I get to be friends with. 

today i read a few more pages of Daring Greatly, and loved every word.

What did you do with your Wednesday?

True Scrap 4 : an awesome giveaway!

Look, up in the sky! Its tha ta bired? A plane? NO! It's TRUE SCRAP 4, coming Oct 19-20! 

True Scrap 4 is the galaxy's ONLY online, live scrapbooking and papercrafting experience. With 15 A-list instructors, five virtual make & takes, and a ton of fun, you won't want to miss it. Instructors (like me!) bring classes on everything from photogrpahy to design to inspiration right to your computer - live! You log in from home and interact in our stae-of-the-art webroom, chatting, learning, and interacting in real time. And it's all recorded so you can go back and watch again & again!  image from

Sound cool? I think so! And here's something even cooler: You can WIN a FREE spot in True Scrap 4, valued at $147, plus some other great prizes! Here's how to enter: 

1. Go to True Scrap (Click here to view more details) and watch the sneak peek instructor video. 

2. Sign up for the "more info" email list at the bottom of hte page. 

3. Come back here and leave me a comment letting me know you've done steps 1 &2. 

Contest closes on Sunday, Sept 23, 21012. Winners will be notified by Wed, Sept 25, 2012, and all prizes must be claimed by Friday, Sept 28, 2012. 

I am so excited to be a part of this event, which is sponsored by Two Peas in a Bucket. Here's the full list of instructors whol will be appearing LIVE at this event!: 

• Julie Fei-Fan Balzer
• Erin Bassett
• Monica Bradford
• Kelli Crowe
• Laura Denison
• Jennifer Gallacher
• Nic Howard
• Noell Hyman
• Katrina Kennedy
• Nichol Magouirk
• Gretchen Schmidt
• Katrina Simeck
• Jessica Sprague
• Heidi Swapp
• Jennifer Wilson

Ready to sign up? You can get $20 off your registration by going here now: 
Click here to view more details
et ready for a fantstic weekend! 


currents : september twenty.twelve

listening to Everybody Talks (still).

drinking water. lots & lots of water. 

thinking about going to Starbucks at lunch. 

wishing that I had done the dishes last night. 

feeling grateful for forward movement. 

reading three books, basically at the same time (Happier at Home, Daring Greatly, and A Life of Being, Having & Doing Enough - yes, all non-fiction. I TRIED!)

missing my friends who are far away. :(

wanting to decorate my fireplace mantel in a very fall-ish theme. 

planning on making bread this weekend.

how 'bout you? 

why i won't give up on project life.

It happens to the best of us. Right? I'm embarrassed (and a bit of scrappers-guilt-ashamed) to admit how far behind I've fallen on my Project Life album (cough12weekscough). I read about people "dropping out" early in the year b/c the project was overwhelming, or they'd fallen behind, or they'd filed for divorce (oh wait, ignore that last one...that was me). I was a bit cocky about it. I WILL NOT FALL BEHIND, I boldly declared to the universe. I even launched an email service specifically geared toward helping people stay on track! As the weeks tumbled along, I was not only falling further behind...but I was feeling insanely guilty for not "walking the talk." 

Please tell me that I'm not alone in this. 

Today, I took the PL bull by the proverbial horns (it's far too late at night to make that metaphor work). I printed a stack of photos at Costo. I rounded a lot of corners. I sped through 12 weeks of date cards. I used iphone/instagram/data files to line up images & dates. Listen kids, it's not sexy....but this album is gettin' done.  Projectlife_wontgiveup

In the words of Jason Mraz....I won't give up. Here's why:

1. Life happened, whether the Project part did or not. There were dark & twisty moments, and shiny sparkle pager moments. It all happened. I do feel like I've spent a lot of the year in a fog. As the fog is lifting, I like having Project Life to capture those rays of light & life.

2. I adore scrapbooking. Still. The colors, the patterns, the papers - love them. One of the things that I've loved about Project Life is that it's given me the opportunity to actually USE stuff again!

3. Project Life has made me more mindful. I take more photos (a TON with my iphone!), jot down more notes, notice more words/lyrics, and capture more details.

4. I love the result. I've looked through my (completed) first album a number of times over the last couple of weeks. It reminded me that I really do love this project!

5. I'm learning what works & doesn't work for me & my Project Life. This is my first year doing the project...and I'm taking note of the obstacles & challenges that have caused me to "fall behind." I'm already looking forward to my 2013 project!

So...I won't give up. I'm committed. I may soon torture you all with post after post of the lost weeks of 2012. You've been warned!  

PS. That email service? It's taking a hiatus. Great idea, not-so-great timing. There's a subscribers email being drafted, so my apologies if you're hearing it here first.