figuring out 40

the year that I lost my voice.

I woke up this morning with a bit of that "it's a special day" excitement. I do love the idea of a new year & the possibilities that it holds. New Year's Eve is such a mix of retrospection and anticipation. I've often shared here that I fear that I'll get to the end of my life & say "so what?"...and the end of each year holds a tiny slice of that worry. 2008 is over...so what? What did I accomplish in this year that I can be proud of? What brought me happiness? If you know me at all, you know that I'm not one to go on about blessings...it's not that I'm not grateful for the ways in which I am blessed...it's just that I'm not comfortable going on about them. I think it's the fear that I'll sound like I'm boasting...and that will result in things being taken away. (note to self - put that on the "things to talk about in therapy" list) I'm not ignoring the positive aspects, the blessings, of the year...I promise.

Anyway. I took some time today to read back through posts from 2008, and came to a rather sad conclusion...

2008 was the year that I lost my voice.

I talked alot about Grey's this year (still love it). I complained about the weather (still hate it). I blogged a bit about this, and a bit about that. Some scrappy-ness found it's way in, and I must have mentioned Depth about a million (or ten) times. My kids got bigger, weekends got shorter (how does that work?), and my housekeeping skills remained woefully inadequate.

As the year wore on, I posted less frequently. Popped in occasionally with apologies to my mom for not calling. Made some excuses about being busy. And in all of that? Lowered my voice a little. Kinda kept to small talk...especially in the 2nd half of the year. Lost the voice that makes no apologies for taking care of me. Lost the voice that gets giddy about friends & fun & triple lattes. Even lost the voice that gets angry about stupid, mean people. Just really lost my voice. Here's the thing: 2008 had some great points. Some good times. But it was also a heartwrenching struggle in many ways. As the year winds to a (chilly) close...I just want to be honest about that. 2008 does NOT go into my record books as the greatest year evah. So, let's just get on with it. This is not meant to be a debby downer post (insert that silly sound effect here)...it just is what it is.

So, here's my first (and maybe only) intention for 2009: I will find my voice. I do have blessings to talk about. And some wicked exciting things to share. And I might just have to vent once in a while...with swear words even (sorry Mom). And rest assured, I'll talk about Grey's, and bitch about the weather, and remind you to buy Depth! ....so I hope you'll stick around.

happy new year.

be safe.

finishing off the year with a little randomness...

I normally have long lists of "gotta do" items for time off of work. This week? Not so much. Sure, I could clean. Lord knows the laundry needs to get done. And my scraproom? Disaster doesn't even begin to describe it. So, the list that has replaced the list...

• Attempting to beat the Guinness record for amount of candy consumed in a post-holiday period. I don't actually know if that record exists, nor do I know what it is...but I'm determined to beat it. Healthy eating will return after Jan 1.
• Scrappin' a little. Realizing that I seriously need to go through my supplies. Again. What's that rule about clothes? If you haven't worn something in a year, you should toss it? I might have to apply that thinking to my supplies.
• Oh Canada...for those that aren't map-savvy, VT borders Canada. We happen to be just under 2 hours away from Montreal. There happens to be an Ikea in Montreal. So...we trekked across the border for a some shopping:

 

Oh, and I'd suggest that if you're shopping across the border, and you happen to forget your birth certificates/passports...brush up on your US history. The border agent gave us a little quiz before he let us back into the States. Let's just say we're lucky to be home.

• Austin & I went to his old daycare today. I had run into the daycare owner's daughters while out Christmas shopping, and had promised to drop by. Hope attended that daycare from the time we moved to VT until she started school...and Austin was there from birth. It was fun to chat for a few minutes, and I think that it really made her day to see Austin. Good stuff.

I'm sure there's a few more random things...but that's all I've got for now. Time for dinner & movie. I'm back to work for a day tomorrow, then off for another 4 days. I could really get used to the not working thing! 

be good. 

need something to read?

Now that the hustle & bustle of Christmas is over, you're probably kicking back on the couch, putting your feet up for the first time in weeks, right? Well, if not...you should. And if you need something to read, I'd suggest picking up the Jan/Feb issue of Memory Makers Magazine. Not only is the cover layout pretty darn cute (thanks, Staci, for the awesome photo to work with!), but you'll also meet the 2009 Masters (seriously inspiring). Oh, and there's an article on page 60 that I'm a wee bit proud of. :) Need a copy of the mag? I happen to have an extra...so leave a comment by Monday at 9am EST, and I'll draw a name to win. **edited - I'll draw a winner at 9 PM today...my Monday has been crazy already! ***Winner picked by randomly by Austin...Stacy! :) I'll get it in the mail to you in the next day or two.

 

We've been mostly hanging out at home...which is just how I like my holidays to be. Christmas Day was relaxing...didn't leave my pjs the ENTIRE day, and just drifted from one candy bowl to the next. Good times. We only had one gift mishap...a book for Austin that never arrived...but props to Amazon UK, who has excellent customer service...a new book is on it's way. This particular book won't release in the US until April, but Austin is so excited about reading it that I ordered it from Europe. I was especially impressed with Amazon's response when I emailed to say that it hadn't arrived...they promptly "dispatched" a replacement copy, and then said that if the first copy ended up arriving, "please donate it to charity." How cool is that?

I'll be working on my Dec album over the next few days, so I'll share when it's done. Or started. Don't be picky. In the meantime, I'm off to bed...a certain teen has to be at school at 7-freakin-am tomorrow for a nordic race. I'd give her the car, but then I'd be grounded for the day....which really, might not be so bad...

be good.

twas the night before christmas...

and anyone who thinks that teenagers go to bed easier than toddlers on Christmas Eve is simply wrong. They are just as wound up as ever...and will probably wake up very early!

It's been a long day of cooking & baking & cleaning & wrapping...looking forward to a relaxing day tomorrow full of leftovers & lounging. We do our "big" dinner on Christmas Eve so that Hope can have Christmas Day at her Dad's. I'm also hoping to finally get my December Daily album started...which is now pretty much just "31 things to remember about December"...because daily just didn't happen!

I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas!

 

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

LOTS of snow in our neck of the woods...kinda screwed up the "get things done" plan for this weekend. Feeling like I still have SO much to get done before Christmas. Making a list, checking it twice, all that fun stuff. So...I'll post more when I have cleared some of the list. In the meantime, please keep my Mom (blog link over there --->) in your prayers/meditations today...she's having emergency eye surgery. Ouch!

still snifflysneezystuffheaded & all that...

I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow feeling rested, healthy, and full of positive energy. How's that for setting an intention for the universe? A mish-mash of stuff...

Christmas Cards are thisclose to being done. I sent more than half out today. Now if MATTHEW BRYANT would just give me his new address, I'd be that much closer to finishing.

Perhaps it's the cold medicine messing with my head, but I could swear that the $6.99 tub-o-cookie dough spoke to me at Costco yesterday. It whispered "no one will know the difference." And so, it came home with me.

I just checked the status of something that I ordered that is being delivered to work...and realized that we still don't have postal service at the new site, which makes "shipped via USPS" a bit problematic. Here's hoping the postman feels like doing a good deed & drops it off anyway.

I was on hold with the Passport Agency in Boston for about 20 minutes today...and that was before I hung up. Apparently, they don't want anyone to leave the country b/c they make it so freakin' difficult to navigate their phone system! Arrgghh!

Scrappy fun - check out the mini-book that I made for Fiskars here. And see if you spot a familiar name on the features list for the Jan/Feb 2009 Memory Makers here. Oh, and one more that is worth shouting about...

OCTOBER AFTERNOON!!!

(they asked me to be on their DT...and I pondered it for about a milisecond, and then offered to sell them my soul. Too much?)

staying in, staying warm...

I know there's been lots of coverage of the ice storm on the news, and after several concerned emails, I thought I'd better pop in & let everyone know that we're fine. We got slammed by snow, but we didn't get any ice. The kids scored a snow day on Friday...and I had a sick day. The nagging cold hit full force, and I didn't leave the house (or my pjs) for 2 days. I'm finally feeling better today, so now I have to catch up on everything that I didn't do for those days!

I did manage to get most of my christmas cards addressed last night. I'm talking myself out of trimming all of them to fix Costco's off-center printing. arrgghhh...

I also managed to get a couple of scrappy projects done, so I'm inching ever closer to being able to start my December Daily album.

So, today it's cleaning & basketball & groceries & errands....and maybe I'll take some photos of all of this snow!

stay warm.

super massive black hole.

That's what I feel like I've fallen into. I have the best of intentions to update my blog, comment on other blogs, call my mother, etc....and life just gets in the way. I have a bit of a cold this week and it's really getting in the way of my productivity. Now is NOT the time to be unproductive!

Grey's - Since it's Thursday, and I was gently reminded yesterday that I never commented on Grey's last week, let's start with that. From the end - Lexi & McSteamy. LOVE IT. She's so tired of being invisible. And she knows how to get him to notice her. Besides, it's not like we watch Grey's for the medicine. I was a little bored with the solo surgery thing. I wanted Christina to stand up to the Chief and convince him that she shouldn't be punished. Uhm, Izzy and Denny? Still? I'm over it. Alex and professing his love? ::yawn:: Why didn't he bust into that on-call room and tell Izzy to put her damn pants on? I'm digging the Callie & Sadie storyline...and I don't usually dig anything involving Callie. I'm really hoping that we get to see more Mer & Der tonight...I miss them.

Holiday stuff - I'm still making progress with compiling stuff for my December Daily album. Even if I don't do anything with it until I'm off for Christmas break...at least I have notes & ideas & bits of this-n-that. I did get our cards done, so now I just need to get them addressed and in the mail. My cards list has grown...it's nudging past 100 now...that just makes me happy b/c it means that I'm surrounded by good people. We got the upstairs tree decorated last night, and the downstairs tree started. I might do some baking this weekend, although I'll have to start wearing elastic waist pants if I eat anything that I'm baking.

Last, but not least - totally belated (I'm always late) HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY to my sister, Karen. Anyone who reads Simple can check out Karen in a snazzy pioneer dress on page 81 of the Jan/Feb issue (and yes, I'm in the embarrassing picture, too).

be good.

a topsy turvy day

Yesterday was a roller coaster. The highlights (rising about the lows. rising above.)....

Had a little time to shop in NYC before & after my meetings. I'm in Soho just about once a month, but I don't always have time to stop in to any shops. Yesterday, I had a few extra minutes, so I popped in to CB2, and found this great little book....five. It's a hardcover "workbook" of sorts that helps you brainstorm what you want to accomplish in the next 5 years. The typography is awesome, and even though the books suggests that it's for a recent grad, or someone hitting a milestone...I think that the exercises are valuable for everyone.  

 

After CB2, I stopped in to Muji Soho and picked up a couple of things for my December Daily album...it's coming together in my head, really!

Another stop, this time at Kate's, where I found the absolute cutest _________, and then found _________ ....neither of which I can say b/c they're gifts for people who might be reading! 

And some of you saw this on my Facebook status yesterday...I saw Brooke Shields at lunch! Seeing a celeb is just fun, period. She's absolutely beautiful, by the way. Wondering where we ate? Le Pain Quotidien on Grand & Mercer. Good times.  

a thursday in the city

Just a quick post from the airport - meetings in the city today - back in time for new Grey's tonight! Woo hoo!

"boarding for laguardia..."

gotta run!